So the inaugural WWE Fastlane is in the books. The best way I can think of to sum it up is: well, that happened. I’ve been a wrestling fan for a long time. Pre-attitude era. I’m not even one of those begging for a return of the attitude era either. I enjoyed wrestling before the attitude era, and have enjoyed life after it as well, for the most part. However, a PPV should NOT have the feel of a Wrestlemania go-home show(the show before WM). This PPV basically set up Wrestlemania to be Fastelane-RematchMania. So let’s get started.
The Authority(Kane,Big Show, Seth Rollins) w/ J&J Security DEF Dolph Ziggler, Ryback, and Erick Rowan.
So sum this up, the heel faction won in heel fashion. The highlight of this match was actually the return of Randy Orton. This only purpose this match seemed to have was to serve as his return. Otherwise this is a tired angle. The match started with Big Show spending what felt like an eternity working on Rowans leg. The highlight of the match itself was probably when Ryback was finally tagged in. The match didn’t showcase it’s best two performers Zigglar, and Rollins. Like I said, Orton attacking the Authority afterwards is the only reason this segment even happened.
Goldust DEF Stardust
Before this match started there was a segment with Goldust and Dusty Rhodes. Dusty once again stressing family, and asking Goldust not to hurt Cody. After going through a speech on how he’s going to beat Cody so bad that he’ll never want to put paint on again, Goldust finally agrees not to hurt Stardust. This match had so much potential. However it serves as a set up for a WM rematch. This match did put Cody Rhodes over as Stardust to me. He comes off as someone in turmoil with himself in this match. This match felt rushed however, like they lost track of time as Goldust gets a roll up win. Kudos to Stardust on his play with the crowd chanting Cody.
Tyson Kidd and Cesaro DEF The Usos
To me, this is a match up between the two best tag teams in the WWE right now. The crowd rewarded this match with silence as they have for the most part at this point. This match did not disappoint. I can not say enough how much I enjoy watching these two teams face off. There is major potential for an entertaining rivalry between these two teams. This is why I throw this match into the category of WM rematch setup. That and the fact that Rikishi, the USOs father will be at WM as a HOF inductee. Kidd gets the win and Tyson Kidd and Cesaro are the new tag champs.
After this match was the “confrontation” between Sting and HHH. Obvious Mania set up is obvious. However, I guess they don’t want Sting on Raw. This is very much a RAW segment. This breaks down to a Baseball bat vs Sledgehammer. HHH gives Sting a chance to go away “with his legacy intact”. Sting, obviously says absolutely nothing. HHH then cheapshots and proceeds to beat the fuck out of Sting. However the tables turn when HHH goes for the sledgehammer, and ends up taking a baseball bat to the gut. After a scorpion death drop comes the worst cliche in WWE. The pointing to the WM sign. God I hate that.
Nikki Bella DEF Paige
This match, like 99% of the divas matches were short. Paige was the highlight of this otherwise horrid match. Nikki Bella has went to shit lately it seems. That or I’m over her. I’m not sure which. Nikki wins after 5 minutes with a quick roll up(I feel like I’ve seen this already tonight).
Bad News Barrett DEF Dean Ambrose via DQ
This match has sooooo much potential. However, this ends up being the 3rd match that is a setup for WM. Dean Ambrose impresses because that’s what he does. BNB played the role of “I was forced into this match and I don’t wanna be in it. I’m gonna try to use champions advantage to retain”). Dean doesn’t allow this to happen, stopping BNB at every escape attempt. BNB ends up getting the DQ win after Dean doesn’t let off in the turnbuckle when told to. Dean beats down BNB after the bell, and leaves with the belt. Setting up for, you guess it, a WM rematch.
There was a Bray Wyatt segment sometime during the PPV. I don’t remember when it happened, but I’ll cover it now. Bray Wyatt and the WWE trolled THE FUCK out of the WWE Universe. I LOVED IT. They even got over on me. The lights go out. The druids come out with the torches. Two druids roll out the casket. Undertakers music is playing while this is happening. My wife walks in the room talking, and I quickly shush her because the Undertaker is back. The casket is opened. IT IS BRAY WYATT. Twitter was blowing up with pissed off people. I LOVED IT. Listen people Bray Wyatt is borderline loved by everybody. If he is to face Taker at WM he has to be hated. This is the perfect way to start that. He basically goes through a speech talking about how he grew up scared of Taker. Hey I was too. His segments used to scare the fuck outta me as a kid. He then talks about how Taker went soft and how he is no longer scared of Taker anymore. Match is set up, we just sit and wait for Taker’s response.
Rusev DEF John Cena
Guess what guys? This is another setup for a WM rematch! AGAIN! This was an entertaining match, IMO up until the end. We can’t have Cena lose and not look strong right? The heel has to have the heel win. Just as Cena was about to win, Lana distracts the ref. Rusev kicks Cena in the nuts so hard, they’re probably flying in outer space somewhere. Put’s Cena in the accolade. Cena doesn’t tap. He passes out. Remember the Austin bloody face, passout not tap out ending? It was that again without the blood. Guess what, we can expect this match at WM.
Roman Reigns DEF Daniel Bryan
Okay, before I start talking about this. Did anyone seriously think DB was gonna win? I’m not one of those to overly analyze a match and then bitch when I don’t get the outcome I want. However, Stevie Wonder saw this shit coming. Face value, this was an entertaining match. DB was allowed to show more technical ability than he is usually allowed. The man of 100 (or is it 1000?) submissions was allowed to show more than 2 submissions. Although he botched the setup on one of them. RR powered out of them, like he’s supposed to be able to. DB didn’t get buried in this match in my option. RR gets the pin fall. DB, obviously disappointed goes into a stare down with RR. He pokes RR, tells him he better beat Lesnar’s ass. Shakes his hand and walks off.
So that’s it. Fastlane is in the books. It was mediocre. It was a RAW before WM IMO. I give it a B-. Did you watch it? What did you think?